What message are you "preaching"?

I've been writing and erasing for the past few hours. I can't seem to say what i'm thinking in an eloquent fashion, so excuse me if this seems like the rant of a crazy person. 

Some things about my church have really been bugging me lately. Well, not necessarily bugging, more like disappointing. I always like to be right, so i don't like being associated with something that isn't right. So i'm going to ramble and complain, because after all, that's what blogs are for, right? 

Disclaimer: This isn't intended to offend, only provoke a thought or two. 

I heard something really interesting during a prayer at my home church yesterday. 

"God, if it is your will, heal him." 

That really confused me. I thought God's will was always restoration, healing, purity, and holiness. 

"Your kingdom come, your will be done, on earth as it is in heaven." And nobody dies in heaven, right? So if God created earth to be like heaven, where nobody gets cancer, then that means that he wants earth to be cancer-free as well. 

Gods's will is healing. 

God's will is peace. 

God's will is love. He IS love, so why would his will for us be any different?

When i was with Billy and Angel after their camp burned down, Billy asked me if he could go to my home church with me. He said he really longed to be a part of a church family, and grow as a Christian with other people. I told him straight up that I can't even walk in to that church with out being judged, so I didn't want to think of how they would react to a homeless man. I imagined him walking in through the front doors, standing tall and confidently, but leaving with his spirit crushed. That's how I feel when I walk in, anyways. I try not to offend them with my clothes, and I am extra polite. But it seems that they are looking for excuses to judge our generation. I heard that someone was offended that people brought their water bottles into the sanctuary. What?!?! okay, maybe if the water bottle had a sticker that said, "F--- GOD" then I would understand. But it was just a plain ol' water bottle, with plain ol' water inside. That makes just about as much sense as me being offended that an old person had the audacity to hobble in to church on a walker. 

Church was meant to be the place to flee judgement, a refuge from the world, and the place to unload the weight of the world from your shoulders. Our doors should have huge neon signs with flashing lights that say, "Come on in, you are loved!" but instead, my generation is running for the exits; running from where we wish we could run to. We try to please the older generation, by dressing the way they want us to, acting like nuns, and pretending like hymns are on our ipods. 

I want to see their faces as Billy, who smells like alcohol, tobacco, dirt, and sweat, sit in the front of the sanctuary on their fancy pew. I want to watch them stare at him as he walks down the hall, and whisper as he passes by. I want to watch them tell him to come back when he has a bath and a shave, like many other Redding churches have already. 

Then i want to show them Jesus' face when Billy sits in the front row. He would probably sit right next to him. Jesus would introduce himself to Billy, shake his hand, look him in the eye, and treat him like a human instead of a flea infested dog. 

Jesus would invite him back.

If they want to live a life modeled after Christ's, then maybe they can start here:

"You must love the Lord your God with all your heart, all your soul, and all your mind. This is the first and greatest commandment. A second is equally important: Love your neighbor as yourself." Matt 22:37-39

Before I went to the Stirring today, (a local church, not involved with the previous rant) I went over to Little Caesars and bought a couple pizzas. I went over to lake boulevard, looking for Billy and Angel. I stopped at every homeless person i saw, gave them some pizza and asked them if they had seen Billy and Angel. No luck, but I  met some really awesome people along the way. I finally found a guy (Tom) who led me to where Billy was hangin out. It was a group of like 8 guys and 2 girls just hanging out in the shade laughing and talking. When Billy saw it was me, he jumped up and introduced me to everyone, as "his friend that prayed with him when the camp burned." One guy asked if i was going to pray with them, to which i said, "If you want." Then he asked me, "Well then what message are you preachin'?" 

I'm not here to preach, i'm just here to be with my friends."

"Well alrighty then! Pass the pizza over here lil miss!" he replied. I spent a couple hours just laughing, talking, eating, and simply hangin' out with these guys. One guy offered me a drink of water from his waterbottle, expecting me to turn it down or pretend like I wasn't thirsty. I actually wasn't thirsty, but that was beside the point. He wanted to see if I thought I was above him and if I was truly comfortable with them. So I said, yeah and took a gulp. One girl offered me her urine-scented coat to sit on and I gladly accepted it. When I left, Tom stood up and said that I had been the first non-homeless person in a while to treat him like a human being. The others stood up and nodded in agreement. I gave Billy a hug first, then hugged the rest of them. I told them i'd see them soon, then I left. 

No sermon. No prayer. No deep bible study, but a moving experience nevertheless. I wanted them to feel loved by me and God, and I'm glad that they felt it. 

1 Corinthians 13:1 ~ "If i could speak all the languages of earth and angels, but didn't love others, I would only be a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal." Paul is saying that truth without love is just noise, and we naturally cover our ears from noise. I'm tired of people doing mission work because "the bible said to do so" or feeding the homeless because "they are lost souls that need converting". But i'm REALLY sick of the word "charity". When I think of the word charity, words like christian-duty, obligation, chore, and requirement come to mind. Instead of doing charity work, just LOVE. When you come from a place of love, the truth becomes music, instead of noise. When your intentions are to spread love, you bring a sort of honesty, and real-ness. You're not fake, and you're not trying to check something off of a to-do list; it shows that you care. Love is something we can spread everyday, all the time. 

Think about it: 

God IS love.

If you give people love, you give them God. 

And there is truly nothing better than that.